Watch Where You Put Them!

When I took my eight dogs out before bed last night, I opened the utility room door and slid my hand around the wall to turn on the light switch. I stood there stunned, as I tried to figure out what I saw wrapped around the cat's food bowl on top of the dryer (just a mere 1.5 feet from my hand on the light switch).

As the dogs poured into the room to line up at the back door, I stood frozen a step or two back from where I had been as I thought about what to do next.

I opened my mouth and let out an enormous "EEEEEEEEKKKKKK!"

[Let me just tell you now, that if "EEK" is your go-to solution to problems or scary situations, you need to find something that has some sort of thinking and action attached to it. I digress.]

I have no specific details to tell you other than, it was a snake. About 2 feet long perhaps, all black (you know, the glistening, glimmery kind {ick}). The head was the same cylindrical shape as its body (so not poisonous?). I do not know anything about snakes except to tread carefully, freeze and then avoid areas when I hear a rattle noise, and keep away from the colorful banded coral snakes. I foresee some research in this area in the near future.

After my ear-splitting scream, the poor creature could not slip away fast enough over the back of the dryer. Great, now it is in an inaccessible place behind the dryer.

Several questions and thoughts immediately came to mind at that point, in no particular order of importance except to show how my mind works quickly under intense pressure:

1. How did it get here?

2. How do I get rid of it?

3. How long has he been here?

4. What the hell is it, how do I confine him to this room and not worry about his visits to other living spaces, how the hell am I going to fall asleep in the future, what if the dogs find it, why haven't the dogs found it, what good is this old cat who LIVES IN THIS ROOM and can't take care of these things before they grow up to be problems, what's my neighbor's phone number, what can my neighbor do about it? [Again, I understandably digress].

These are all good questions, and I will spend some time inventing solutions in the next few days. For now, I stuffed a bath towel along the bottom edge of the door in the hopes that it would prevent the serpent from slithering out into the rest of the house. I sprayed vinegar on the edge of the towel since I understand that snakes do not like that. I also took the precaution of spraying vinegar along the bottoms of the edges to all the doors that provide entrance to my home.

Finally, my last thought as I lay there trying to fall asleep last night: a really good rule to follow in Texas is -- "watch where you put them." Do not put hands, feet, head, or any part of the body in any space that you cannot completely see into or along the entire length of. Never. This little rule has prevented painful scorpion issues, creepy encounters of colossal Texas-sized spiderwebs, and lately, scary snake issues.

Oh, the joys of living in the country!

Watching where I put them,

----- Paula -----

© 2021 by Paula E. Bird

Welcome to the Birdhouse (Living the Lessons of Cosmic Metaphors)

Once upon a time, I had a brilliant horse. I loved this horse and the special relationship that springs up between such a tremendous animal and a human. He did create a lot of work for me though, in terms of manure. I also have several donkeys, but donkey manure makes less mess. Donkey manure dries quickly and effortlessly pulverizes into fertilizer powder. (I recommend composting it before using it in order to destroy weed seeds). On the other hand, horse manure is gloppy and messy. I need to remove it from pathways and compost it regularly to keep things manageable, so I can wander around on the property without getting gunk on my shoes or boots.

One afternoon I was out in one of the pastures with a wheelbarrow and a shovel to collect some offending horse manure that had piled up along my daily walkway to the alpaca pens. My horse was nearby, ostensibly to offer me the illusion that he would help me with my chore or at least provide me with companionship. At the same time, I also conducted a phone conversation with a friend who owned a horse ranch. She commiserated with me about my manure collecting chore.

I was pleased with my efforts because I had cleared the path and made it safe again for walking. As I shoveled the last bits of manure into my wheelbarrow, my horse walked directly into the pathway and stood in front of the wheelbarrow, swishing his tail nonchalantly. As I watched, he raised his tail and deposited a huge new contribution of manure onto the path I had just cleared. I shared my dismay with my friend over the phone, and she labeled this event with a piece of advice that has served me well for years afterward.

“It’s a life metaphor,” she told me.

Indeed, it was. I realized that no matter how much I worked, there would be moments when the manure would pile on top of my efforts, again and again. I would need to repeat my actions; my work would never be “complete.”

Thus was born my exercise in attitude and perspective adjustment. No longer would I be allowed to dwell on disappointment and frustration. Instead, I would cull out a life lesson from this cosmic metaphor and learn from it.

Welcome to my blog about life in the country in Central Texas. Periodically I will write about unexpected events and my observations, and I will distill and share some life lessons we might bump against when we perform our daily work. These life lessons are gentle reminders not to take ourselves too seriously. We are not the “end all” or “be all” in the grander scheme of life. These cosmic metaphors point us to the humor that underlies our efforts. They are like the naughty person who sticks a pin in our balloon. We can cry in dismay or find the humor and the lesson for the moment and continue with our lives.

I prefer to keep going. Life will surprise me with many more cosmic metaphors if I remain open to receive the life lessons.

Remember, horses will poop in your path. Life is like that. Keep clearing the poop out of the way. Pat that horse on the rump as you laugh with him.

Clearing the paths with smiles,

----- Paula -----

© 2021 by Paula E. Bird